Holy Mayo...

So a SERIOUS treat while eating "paleo" is real deal, super delicious, crazy thick, creamy and divine mayonnaise.  There are so many things to say about my day today, but at this point, these are small matters is that tonight we had a dinner that included a mayo that is about as easy as it gets and all with "healthy fats" and four ingredients and it is SO G.D. GOOD.  Just 'cuz I was curious, I happened to look at the label on our light mayo, and sweet lord... there are a LOT of things in there.  Then I looked online at the "olive oil mayos" that are available out there and still... SO MANY INGREDIENTS!  If you're going by the rule of thumb of, "if you can't pronounce it, don't eat it" mayo would be off the list.  BUT NOT ANYMORE!  I have made two PERFECT batches of mayonnaise and both times were put to VERY good use.  The first time I made your standard plain mayo for a batch of chicken salad to have handy for the week just in case we didn't want to do any work at all for something good, filling, and relatively healthy to eat.  It pretty much fills all the gaps, your protein, we even put cucumber and carrots in ours along with the celery, so you got your veggies (and usually I'm eating it in a lettuce wrap or on top of a bed of spinach), and a healthy fat... INSERT MAYO HERE!!!!  The second batch was tonight.  I need a minute because I really want to go in the kitchen and find something else to dip in to the leftovers.  But I'm being very selfless and leaving it for the hubby to make himself a batch of tuna salad.  When he makes tuna salad, he makes it just for him (which he totally should since he is always providing everything for me without really considering himself).  Now, some of you are gonna' wince, but I HATE pickles.  And yes... I have tried pretty much every variety of pickle.  Not least of which was my Grandmother's homemade pickles which are like gold in my family.  I just don't like 'em.  I keep trying them thinking it'll change.  I mean, taste buds change, right?  But this hasn't changed.  When we go out to dinner at a restaurant where a pickle comes on the plate, my hubby SNATCHES the pickle before the plate hits the table because even pickle JUICE has the potential to completely ruin my dining experience.  Seriously, I am SO not a picky eater.  I will pretty much try anything and usually more often than not I like it.  My college roommate will tell you that my tastebuds must have exponentially multiplied since I met her.  Every time we see each other, she always laughs at the "exotic" foods I am now eating... like black beans, avocado, spice.  HA!  She likes to tell the story of a time we went out to dinner for some Thai food and I ordered Pad Thai and when they asked how spicy I wanted the sauce, I said I didn't even want the sauce, just the noodles and veggies.  HAHAHA!!!  Man, I was such a sheltered midwestern nerd.  But I still don't like pickles.  I mean, Kansas has some great "ethnic" food, but we were raised on serious home-cookin'... casseroles, pot pies, meat loaves, roasts, etc.  At dinner every night there would be a STACK of white bread as a side dish.  Accompanied of course with butter and some variety of my Grandmother's homemade jelly.  Oh boy, that jelly.  As you can see by the fact that my Grandma made pickles, jelly, and every delicious baked good known to man, it's no mystery that a girl with absolutely no "off" switch in the food category would balloon up like a freaking walrus.  But alas... it was comfort food at it's best and there will ALWAYS be a time and place for that in my life and the life of my family.

Wow... I got on a SERIOUSLY divergent tangent there, but so worth it (that jelly again... my mind is reeling from the memory of the "crab apple jelly" that used to appear on our dinner table so regularly).  SHEESH!  Okay... back.  MAYONNAISE!  There simply are a lot of things you "give up" on this 30 day challenge, and dipping sauces are one of them unless you take some serious time and create something great from scratch.  Honestly, I just don't have the time and when I do I usually spend my time baking something completely sinful for my friends or making a version of a breakfast "treat" that isn't so much like a "treat" but more like a trick.  (I made some pumpkin muffins for my kiddos that are shockingly healthy and pretty damn comprehensive on the nutrition front... and they're none the wiser.)

So.... I made the first batch of mayo for chicken salad... (I promise I always come back  around... it just takes some time.)  Tonight, the batch I made started in the same SUPER SIMPLE way, but then I added cayenne pepper, garlic, and a basic cajun seasoning mix.  SPICY MAYO!!!!  OH. MY. GOODNESS.  It seriously hit the spot and went PERFECTLY with our burgers, sauteed onions and mushrooms, and... wait for it... SWEET POTATO FRIES.  I've mentioned it before, but sweet potatoes are one of those controversial 30-day-challenge topics.  Some folks say not to have them, others say do it in moderation particularly after a hard workout for "recovery."  Now, tonight... I didn't have a hard workout and I wasn't recovering... but it sounded SO GOOD with the burger.  When I realized there would be no ketchup, I went with mayo and it literally takes 2 minutes... if that!  Burgers are on a regular rotation at our house because we bought a quarter cow last year and we are definitely still eating through that mo-fo.  I say that lovingly because it is AWESOME to be able to go out to the freezer and pull a few things out for the week and not have to buy it at the store every week.  NOT TO MENTION the fact that the product is super high quality and natural, organic, grass fed from start to finish beef.  I mean, seriously.... looking at the farm where this cow came from, I wouldn't mind being a cow on that farm (except for the being killed after living such a wonderfully leisurely life for a while).  But anyhow... burgers are a regular deal in all varieties, shapes, and sizes.  You can make anything in to a variety of burger and for me, that HAS to include some kind of topping: ketchup, mustard, pesto, bbq sauce, or... MAYO!  So here is what I did tonight and honestly, please try this.  It's unbelievably wonderful and tastes SO GOOD.  The possibilities are COMPLETELY endless.  You can add herbs, seasonings, etc.  You can literally add ANYTHING you can think of that it whips right up into the most wonderfully thick concoction.  Okay... back to it... here is what I did.

I have an immersion blender and if you don't... go get one.  You can buy them for relatively cheap and I use it for everything from soups, mashed squashes, cauliflowers, to making my own simmered tomato sauces with half the effort.  The EASIEST mayo is made with the immersion blender and I like the consistency of using the immersion blender better than a food processor or a regular blender.  I've also tried to just whip my own using plain old elbow grease and it just doesn't thicken up the way this stuff does.  So here goes:

1. Put one egg and 2 teaspoons of lemon juice (the juice from a jar that you buy in the store is totally perfect) in a jar or tall-ish container for a few minutes to just take the chill off both.  (My immersion blender actually came with a tall plastic container made specifically to prepare things and store them in the container... like this.)
2. Then I added one cup of oil and this is the part that I believe is the most important.  My Costco started carrying avocado oil and this is AWESOME for mayo. Actually, it's pretty awesome for everything.  However, a super light olive oil is good too... just NOT extra virgin oil because it gets a funky flavor for some reason.  Avocado oil is seriously SO GOOD and I highly recommend if you can get your hands on it without breaking the bank.  I splurge a little on this because it's that good.
3. This is where you can add ANY flavors you want.  I added powdered garlic (fresh would be awesome for a little extra spicy bite), salt, pepper, cayenne pepper, and some cajun seasoning (make sure it's a blend with no sugar).  Let all that settle in so the egg settles back on the bottom of the container.
4. Put your immersion blender all the way on the bottom of the container and let 'er rip.  Hold it there without moving it for like 30 seconds.  It happens right in front of your eyes.  After 30 seconds, lift the blender up slowly and make sure all the oil is incorporated and everything is well blended.  
5. NOTHING!   That's it!  I refrigerate mine for a little while afterward just cuz I like that... but it's not necessary.  This mayo is good until the expiration of the egg you used.  

I realize that it uses raw egg, and I try to buy local cage free eggs from someone with chickens, but when I can't, I get as close to that as possible, whether at Trader Joe's or even Costco has some pretty good options (because we eat quite a bit of eggs around here).  

If you like mayo even a little bit, I seriously recommend this.  It's so incredibly good and it satisfies so many of those creamy cravings (that's what she said) that you don't get because of no dairy.  

One variety I'm dreaming of is using lime instead of lemon, then adding cilantro, avocado, jalapeno, and scallions.  That sounds so good, no?  I can see that in my very near future and when I do, I'll definitely let you know how it works out, but I have a feeling it'll be de-lightful.  

What else went in my belly today?  (besides mayo)

Breakfast: omelette with bacon, peppers, and mushrooms with a side bowl of raspberries, strawberries and shredded unsweetened coconut.

Lunch:  OH MY GOD I TOTALLY FORGOT HOW CRAPPY THIS WAS (the situation, not the food)!!!!  We had AWESOME leftover pork carnitas that I had prepared in a separate container from a great salad and then packed a side of an avocado salsa as a dressing and on teh way to the microwave to heat up the pork a little, I DROPPED IT!  It fell and went all over the industrial carpet at my school.  If I were home, no question... pick it up, eat it.  At school, where there are mice and about 10,000 little germ and poop footed infested people walking around... I just couldn't do it.  So I didn't.  So for lunch I had a pretty decent spinach and veggie salad topped with an avocado salsa, a grapefruit, and an apple.

Dinner:  Grass-fed quarter pound burger topped with sauteed onions and mushrooms with a side of sweet potato fries (dressed just with avocado oil, salt and pepper), and sweet, sweet spicy mayo.  Magic.  

Happy Hump Day... now go make some mayonnaise and figure out a way to thank me later.