Isn't it funny how all the sudden you can go from thinking you're the most kick-ass person in the world, to just being so flustered and discouraged that you just wanna' throw in the towel? I am letting the scale get to me. Last week I weighed in at 173.0 and today I was 173.4. Damn. I know it's a moment in time and it can swing and shift so quickly... but when you've lived and breathed by that freaking scale for so long, it's so infuriating when you're doing everything "right" and it doesn't budge. You have those creeping thoughts of, "why am I even doing this?" I completely know it's fine, and I also know that next week things could change again, or it might not. I also know that muscle weighs more, blah blah blah... but it's just frustrating. I wanted to badly to see it get under 170. Oh well... Alright... I will get over myself because I still have yesterday's residual "high" from feeling like I was doing so well. Plus, I gotta' share the awesome night I had with my friends. We do a "supper club" the first Sunday of the month with three other couples. These folks have quickly wormed their way into my hearts and I adore all of them for completely different reasons. Anyway, knowing I was doing paleo, and wanting to stay on track, but also wanting to be a crowd-pleaser, we chose tacos. It has seriously been an "indian summer" kind of October because last night it was like 75 degrees and it was sunny and gorgeous. The hubs set up our big old table (that he built, by the way) outside and we set it all up for us to sit outside and eat. In my world, there is absolutely NOTHING better than spending a laughter-filled evening with truly fantastically wonderful people. I feel so blessed to have my kiddos grow up surrounded by all these fantastic adults that truly love them and cherish them for themselves. Even as I'm writing this, I'm getting over myself and realizing that this process is just so much more than getting on the scale and seeing a lower number. I successfully made my way through this dinner party staying on track and making good choices. Not because I HAD to, but because I really wanted to. I am so committed to this 30 day challenge because I really do think that it's "re-setting" some of my bad habits. Nights like last night were always when I would "allow" myself or give myself permission to let it all go and have whatever I wanted. When I make that choice, I don't just let myself have a little of this or that... I completely go off the wagon and then steam-roll my way right over it. I'm like a rabid dog putting anything and everything I can get my hands on in my face because it's like the last time I will ever eat these things, right? I'll NEVER let myself do this again. Jeez... I'm a mess. But anyway, last night was different. No chips and salsa for me, no tortillas, no cheese, no sour cream, and no dessert (the one I made for everyone else). The evening is about the food, and I know that... but most importantly it's about the company and taking it all in. Instead of thinking about what else I could shove in my face, I was really paying attention to the conversation, and the people around me. I feel like I genuinely NOTICED more than I have in the past. I made a point to do things ahead of time so I wasn't really cooking stuff and spending time in the kitchen. I did a good job planning and had an awesome assistant. The hubs really was/is a master partner for me. He just pulled right in behind me cleaning up the thing I was using and got the house picked up while I was working on food. Anyway, in the midst of a time in everyone's life that is just generally hectic and just not so easy for some... taking some time to just "be" and genuinely enjoy other's company is magical. Feeling and hearing the laughter that comes from the table when we're together is the best medicine someone could ask for. When I'm sitting there, I truly think that I am surrounded by some of the most witty, caring, and fantastic people in the world, and they're sitting at the table with me. Thank goodness that the choices I've made in this life have led me here... scale challenges and all. In the grand scheme of life and all the things that come and go, this is why I wanted to be a grown up...
Here is what we served at the dinner:
-Beer and Sangria
-Chips with bean dip and salsa
-Hard and soft tortillas with shredded chicken and ground beef
-Taco fixins (cheese, tomatoes, cilantro, lettuce, etc.)
-Black bean and corn salad with green chiles
-Pinto beans
-Sour cream, salsa, and avocado
-Apple enchiladas with warm caramel apple topping and vanilla ice cream
Here is how I made it paleo:
-NO CHIPS (this is a huge victory if you hadn't noticed... I've mentioned it a couple times... those suckers are like CRACK to me)
-Big ol' bed of lettuce with shredded chicken and ground beef with tomatoes, avocado dressing (the kind I made before), and salsa.
-For dessert I took some of the warm apples and put cinnamon and almonds on top and then some almond butter and re-warmed it so the almond butter got like a "gravy" for the apples. Not too shabby, really.
As for today... we had a SHITLOAD of taco leftovers and since I actually really love tacos, I was good with it...so
this is what I put in my belly:
Breakfast: leftover beets with two fried eggs and two pieces of bacon from the market
Lunch: Same taco salad.
Dinner: Same taco salad.
Dessert: Mango with almonds
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